Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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