just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
