I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
