so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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