i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
tell me about the eggs
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
