i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
