I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
