dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
