ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
