Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
