Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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