8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize