Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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