You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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