Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
