Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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