My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Drunk is not a location!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
