Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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