So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
