All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
