Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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