bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
