Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
