Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
