A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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