We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize