Have you finally orgasmed yet?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
