I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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