We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
