We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
