You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
