That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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