is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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