Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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