Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
