Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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