I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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