That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
