you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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