dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
