You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize