I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
