I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
