Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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