it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize