Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
