so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
