I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He better not be in your backpack
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
