Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
As shirtless as possible
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
