I could have mohawked her pubes.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
