Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
