i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
