just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
