i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
