i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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