Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
