nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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