Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm passing your future prison.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
