If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
